February

by Carlos Garibay

There was a blonde that lived in a small house on the corner of 4th Avenue. She had a small shed in her backyard where she kept gardening tools. One day, she thought she saw smoke coming out of the roof of the shed.
In a panic, she called 911. They answered and asked, "Is there an emergency?"
The blonde replied, "Yes, my shed is on fire!"
"Don't panic, help is on the way. Where do you live?"
"In a house!" she answered.
Calmly, "How are we supposed to get there?"
The blonde answered back, "Duh! In a big red truck!"


A Mafia's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear Baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year , so I want a new..." He looked at it, then crumpled it up into a ball and threw it away.
He gets out a new pice of paper and writes again, "Dear Baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new..." He again looks at it with disgust and throw it away.
He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, "Dear Baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again..."